Blog Book Club on "Run Like a Mother"

The book reports are in for our first-ever Mama Sweat Blog Book Club!

Did you read "Run Like a Mother" by Dimity McDowell and Sarah Bowen Shea? Make sure to include your thoughts in the comments.

What I love most about “Run Like a Mother” is that it shines a light on moms in pursuit of fitness for the duration of motherhood. If I see one more “how to get your body back after baby” book I might start going topless in order to expose both my return-to-solid core and my twin skin that, in addition to being completely numb from overly stretched nerve fibers, hangs decoratively over the top button of my pants, or as Dimity describes in RLM, “abs, which oozed over my jeans like a melting ice cream cone.” Was there ever a better metaphor?

Dear readers, if you don’t know this already, despite what many other book titles say: Women don’t get their body back after baby. It will be different; the body evolves. Again, to borrow from that clever Dimity again, I loved the line in the book when she discovers that “Dimity Version 2.0--with new mothering skills and responsibilities!--had been installed...” But why in my right mind would I ever want to go back? I want to move forward, progress. Do I have the twin skin? Sure. But I can also say this: I am physically stronger than I ever was before having children. Now, I want to work on getting faster. (Apparently women are supposed to be faster after bearing children due to the increased blood volume during pregnancy and I was sort of hoping for miraculous post-motherhood personal records but those haven’t come to pass because evidently you still need to train.)

The importance of fitness for mothers isn’t limited to pregnancy or the first year of our baby’s life. It’s about finding something to call our own, honoring our body, and giving ourselves permission to be a priority. We need more books for mothers that help us do this (more on that later). So Bravo, “Run Like a Mother,” for giving voice to moms who want to pursue our fitness passion and don’t give a rat’s ass about fitness schemes and celebrity trainers (who, like Jillian Michaels, have no intention of getting pregnant and installing Version 2.0).

That’s just my humble opinion. I had dog-eared all the places in the book that I wanted to share with you, but there are 35 bent corners. If I included them all, I’d face some serious copyright violations. So I’ll pass the torch. Here’s what book winners Stephanie and Brooke had to say.

First up, Brooke, a running mother-to-be:

I thought the book was great. I think seasoned runners and new/non-runners can get a lot of good advice from it on juggling schedules and how to prepare for races. My favorite chapter was #18 - Pregnancy: Baby on Board, because it’s the one I most closely relate to right now. I am 4 months pregnant and just kept shaking my head 'yes' when I read that chapter. My favorite quote was: "I anticipated continuing to run right up until the day I delivered. I really wanted to be one of those moms who can say 'I ran 4 miles the day I went into labor' but then at 8 months, something fundamentally shifted..." I totally get that! Thats how I feel and it’s encouraging to see in print that someone else has the same thoughts as me on this crazy journey. I also loved the quotes from other moms. They were real, fun to read and broke up the reading into little sections, which is always nice.

And now, let’s hear from Stephanie, a running mama who is tandem nursing her toddler AND infant (I hearby honor her with this week’s Mama Sweat Dedicated Mama Award):

It was hard to put down. This morning when I ran I kept thinking of Dimity and Sarah, and their running experiences. I could probably have skipped the chapters on clothing and music, though I bet some people love that. The pregnancy/postpartum section is good. I have the Runners World pregnancy book, and I’m not sure it tells you too much more than that. I also like the chapter on exercise addiction and body image. I like that it encourages me to be dedicated by reminding me why I love running.

I do wish the book focused a bit more on how having children can add to the experience of being a runner. I personally like hitting the trails with my bad a. double stroller. I like the smiles and cheers I get when I pass other runners with my little ones in tow this way, and I like the way the presence of children is an open door for friendly exchanges with otherwise strangers. I like taking them for a walk or jog with snacks packed and stopping at the "waterfall" to let my toddler play in the water while I nurse my infant. I wish the book focused more on moments like these, because I have found my tots can be terrific exercise buddies, and I would love to hear creative ways that other mommies bring their children along for outdoor activities or races. (I would love to hear creative bribes to keep a two year old in a stroller for half an hour too:)

My take on it as of now: It’s fun, encouraging, motivational, helpful. The personalities of the authors come through strikingly. They are open and candid. I do think any running mom would appreciate this book and probably read it cover to cover. I am recommending it to my mommy running buddies.

As for me, as I mentioned above, what I am most pleased about is that “Run Like a Mother” has created space on the book store shelf for what I believe is a more substantive message for fit moms. I am particularly excited about that because soon I will have a book to add to this new fit mom genre, a book I have co-written called: “Hot (Sweaty) Mamas: Five Secrets to Life as a Fit Mom.” I have to thank Dimity and Sarah for starting the momentum. So until “Hot (Sweaty) Mamas” gets published, let me know if you have other suggestions for our Mama Sweat Blog Book Club!

Best Fitness Shoes Ever? Most Ridiculous Fitness Moment?

I belong to my local mothers of multiples club, and while I rarely attend the meetings or the sales, I always open the daily emails containing the digest of posts on the message board. More often than not I don't have any wisdom to impart on new mothers whose topics often include:

Why won't my babies sleep?

Do I have to wake the other baby to eat when his twin wakes to eat?

Will I ever be able to make dinner again? (That came from this morning's digest)

Those are all expected and I don't read them to get vindication for having survived it all (maybe a little). I read them for the gems that pop up every now and then:

My favorite posts have included:

Help! Living room smells like dog. We don't have a dog.

When will my twins stop playing naked games?

Need ideas on getting three-year-olds to listen.

Entertaining, no?

Every now and again a post comes along inquiring about the how, when, why, where on exercise with so many kids and so little energy. I am always happy to chime in then, because that's the only subject matter I do feel I can provide value (since my babies don't sleep and they still play naked games). But last week, when someone asked about the validity of the Sketchers Shape Up shoes, and this answer came back, I just didn't think I could add a thing (without being ridiculously sarcastic). It said:

My mom also has the Sketcher Shape-ups and really likes them. She reports that as long as she is moving, they are great, but not at all good for standing in one spot.

Doesn't that remind you of those diet pills that require you to take them three times a day on an empty stomach and not to eat anything six hours before bed time? You will shed pounds instantly!

I guess we are all ridiculous in our own ways. I might have ever so slightly complicated my life now that our go-to babysitter, the Wonder Teen, is my running partner. Last week I needed a babysitter so I could go run with another babysitter. Hmmm....

Please share your latest ridiculous fitness moment so I can feel better about myself!

Squeaky Wheels

Last week life got pretty crazy. Good crazy, for sure, but more to juggle than normal. My only workouts were my early morning runs, getting to the gym for anything else proved too difficult. Even Tuesday. This is particularly discouraging because for two months I had the morning reserved for tennis, so I had myself and the kids trained to get to the gym. Once the tennis lessons were over I planned to shift to yoga class. Kind of like paying off your student loan and then planning to continue making payments into your savings account. Yeah. Didn't happen.

By Friday I realized the merry-go-round was going just a wee bit too fast and I needed off. There were a few signs: I caught a glimpse of K as she was getting ready for the Kindergarten bus. She still had the braid I put in hair Tuesday morning. Quick math: no bath since their post-swim lesson shower Monday night. Then there was my own hair. How long had it been since I had a hair cut? I missed the deadline to make the deposit for JC's school next year. And I forgot to send the twins to school with their raffle donation for the spring carnival (actually I had forgotten to buy it, too).

What really made me step out of the frenzy was my aching tail bone. I had a lovely run Friday morning and I've been secretly pleased that my body has been holding up so well without the usual TLC I try to provide by way of old PT exercises or yoga. With my increasing miles on the road and my weekly CrossFit I knew, though, I needed to start "date night" with my soft tissue. Sure enough, just as with marriage, when you don't make time for your spouse, the glue between you gets dry, cracks and falls to pieces.

I can't help but quote from "Run Like a Mother." (You bought it, right, and reading it?) Co-author Dimity McDowell makes many wonderful analogies, this one nails it for me right now:

The core is the metaphorical mother of your body: If she has to focus on one weak part of the body, like your right hip, bribing it with TLC so it will move along, some other part, like your left glute, will disobey and flare up. The situation is not unlike bribing an ornery 3-year-old with fruit snacks, who tells an otherwise content 6-year-old that it was the last pack, who then throws a fit.

Apparently that's exactly what is happening (down to the left glute part). I must regroup. As moms, life seems filled with squeaky wheels: the baby screaming to eat; the skinned knee that needs a bandage; the dog needs out for a pee, the Barbie's head needs reattachment (now Mom, now!). But there are certain aspects to our life we can keep from squeaking, if we will take the time to apply oil every now and then.

Sounds like great advice. Let's see if I can do it for myself this week. My plan is to get to yoga class Tuesday morning. Wish me luck.

***Edited to add I also plan to bathe my children more than once this week.

Too Much Information

The first time my husband and I went on a run together, maybe a month after we began dating, we were joined by a friend of his, a friend since childhood, a friend who would later become our best man. We'll call him Mike, because, that's his real name.

The night before had consisted of greasy food and too many cocktails. Cigars might have been involved. Look, I was 26. I can't recall why we thought it was a good idea to run. But when you're a runner, you assume a good, cleansing run is the answer to any woe.

I can't remember Mike's exact words, but the subject of noxious gasses and the possibility of emergency pit stops came up.

"Mike!" I screamed from behind (I was struggling to keep up with the boys), "We are not at the fart and burp stage yet!"

Surely you've seen the "Sex and the City" episode where Carrie is horrified when she, ummm, let's one rip between the sheets. She wasn't ready to let Big believe she was capable of such noxious behavior. This suggests, mind you, that passing gas in front of someone is more intimate than sex. Interesting. Anyway, with a movie and an upcoming sequel, I'm sure Carrie and Big now fart in front of each other with regularity.

Back to non-fiction. My then boyfriend and I were NOT at the fart and burp stage but Mike so graciously propelled us to that next level. Maybe he could see into our future. And now that future consists of four little ones who come into the world AT the fart and burp stage. They even poop in the tub, something The Boy did for the first time last night. And here's intimate: maybe I've never been more in love with my husband than when, after JC pooped in the tub when she was a wee 18-months-old and I was in a tizzy trying to find something to scoop it out with and her older sisters were shrieking and clamoring to get out of the tub, he just scooped it up with his bare hand. Done. Problem solved. That, my friends, is taking care of business. If that doesn't tell me my husband will do anything for his kids, then what will?

So, farting, burping, pooping, they all bring people together in a strange, intimate way.

And running seems to bring out all these properties in people.

Continuing on with my theory, if running makes you fart, burp, and poop, then it stands to reason running friends are closer than most.

Where is she going with this?

I'm happy to report that I've reached this stage with one of my new running partners: Katie, the Wonder Teen (I'll have to explain the "Wonder Teen" title in another post--it has nothing to do with the subject matter of this particular post). And, dear readers, I'm going to spare you the details of how it has come to pass that we've reached this stage (snicker, snicker). Not because I don't think you can handle it or because I don't want to write about it--oh, how I do do (and I've warned all of my running partners that whatever they say or do do while working out in my presence is subject to reappear as material in my writing). However, if I recall--and yes, it's been awhile since I was sixteen--I wasn't so forthcoming about bodily functions at that age, and I'm sure, found them all embarrassing. The fact that Katie shared her story with me, then, is a big deal in its own rite. So to protect the young and innocent and to keep my new running parter, her story stays with me.

And what of my theory? Care to share what got you and your running partners to the fart and burp stage? Does this post mean we are now at the fart and burp stage?

But this post goes on. I just got an email from a reader who asks: I am nursing two babies, running, gardening outside, it's summer [my note: not where I live!]... do you know a good way to calculate how much I need to drink? Do you know of a baseline for a nursing, running mama? I can't find good information about this."

Since my mind is currently in the toilet, that's my initial answer: look in the toilet. If your urine is clear, you are drinking enough! I am sure other readers can supplement this answer with, perhaps, more scientific advice. Friends? Can you help a running, nursing, mama out?

And ironically, I just got an email from a friend who sent me the front page of today's Detroit Free Press with this headline, "Welcome to the Wild World of Blogging Moms," and the subhead for the continued story asks, "Are Moms Sharing too Much?"

Ya think?