"What Else Can We Do With a Wheelchair and Sign Language?"

While doing research for the book I am co-authoring, “Hot (Sweaty) Mamas: Five Secrets to Life as a Fit Mom,” I had the pleasure of interviewing two moms--both with special needs children--who moved me in such a way that I knew I needed to share what I learned from them with Mama Sweat readers. Here's Part One. Stay tuned for Part Two on Thursday.

What if your child needed you to be fit? What if your child's confidence in you as a parent depended on your strength?

That's what it's like for Rachel Coleman. Rachel, 35, is the mom of two: Leah, 13, who was born deaf, and Lucy, 10, who was born with spina bifida and cerebral palsy. Rachel also developed a series of videos called “Signing Time,” that teaches children (and adults) American Sign Language in a fun, entertaining and engaging way.

Just a few years ago, Rachel says, she was 40 pounds heavier. Like many moms--whether their children have special needs or not--Rachel’s sole focus was caring for her daughters so (in her mind) her daughters could live their best life. What she came to realize, however, was that those two things weren’t compatible. “The best gift I can give to Lucy is to be super strong and really fit,” Rachel says, recalling the many instances when carrying Lucy from her chair to her bed or getting her out of the tub was tenuous, at best.

Now Rachel and her husband, Aaron, have shaped up and recently finished a half-marathon with both daughters. (They all finished in 2:10, which I think is super impressive for a 13-year-old. But Leah also won her school's spelling bee a few years ago, so she is no stranger to awesomeness.) Take a peek at this news story that profiles the Coleman's race. And there's more about the Coleman’s experience training and racing on Rachel’s blog.

But they’re not stopping there, Rachel and Aaron are training for their first triathlon in July. Rachel tells me that’s just the means to a different end:

“The races aren't really what we train for. We train for the races so that we are in great condition to do the most important things... like hiking to waterfalls with Lucy on our back; Camping in Yellowstone and hiking trails covered in wild flowers; Playing hide and seek in Goblin Valley; Hiking to Delicate Arch in Arches National Park. None of those things are accessible to a child in a wheelchair. If we weren't strong enough, Lucy wouldn't get to witness the beauty first-hand. Instead there would just be a long list of things she can't see and places she can't go. I don't know how long Aaron and I will be able to carry Lucy this way. Every year she gets bigger and taller. All I know is we will do it as long as it's physically possible and probably a little longer than that. I mean, even right now there are people who tell us that certain hikes are impossible to accomplish carrying a 10 year-old on our backs... but those people are wrong. We've already done those hikes.”

Think about that for a moment, fellow moms... what if the mama sweat in your life was necessary to do the physical work of parenting and giving your child access to a world he or she would otherwise never experience?

We’ve all heard it or said it: When I take care of myself I’m a better mom. But I’ve always thought of that statement applying to the mental aspect of mothering. Rachel has made me realize that my workouts improve my capacity to do the physical work of being a mom, even if that work isn’t necessary to accomplish tasks of daily living like it is for her. Fit moms, by default, are physically capable of doing more for their kids and therefore have more opportunities to engage with them.

That's a benefit of fitness I've overlooked until now, but now realize how this benefit is pervasive in my parenting. If I were not fit I would not have been able to carry a kicking-and-screaming Kindergartner onto her bus on Friday (without seriously hurting myself). If I were not fit I would not have enjoyed a one-on-one bike ride/run with each of my daughters this morning.

Thanks for your inspiration Rachel and this new perspective!

Up in Arms

Will my arms be this buff when

my children are too old to carry?

I'm feeling a little like Michelle Obama these days. I know, the resemblance is uncanny.

Aside from that, like Michelle, there's a lot of chatter about my arms. Normally I brush compliments like that off and don't take them seriously (I understand this insinuates I think my friends are lying to me).

I'm not sure what to make of it. Not like carrying around a 25 lb. baby is new, considering I've been at that weight lifting move for almost 7 years running.

Three years ago I started doing a "Barbell Strength" class at the gym. And while I noticed a difference in how I felt, I didn't have any arm gawkers. But I've been doing Cross Fit now for about 8 months and that, I believe, is the smoking gun for my smoking guns.

I was so busy being excited about all the new power lifts I was learning (because I like to say I can snatch as much as I like to snatch) that I didn't realize I was creating buff arms in the process. That heavy lifting, apparently, is where it's at, according to the New York Times.

Cross Fit is heavy on push ups and pull ups and they are extremely accessible exercises: you can do them almost anywhere anytime. Here are my five suggestions to get you going:

• Do push ups and tricep dips in the bathroom while your kids are bathing.
• Before or after your workout do 10 pushups. It takes almost no extra time and, voila, you've worked on your arm strength.
• Whenever you're at the park, practice your chin ups, pull ups, flex arm hang or, I dare you to swing across the monkey bars. I guarantee you have forgotten how hard this is.
• You're laying on the floor playing (fill in the blank here). You're already down there, so work in some push ups, too.
• If you go to the gym for a fitness class, stop by the pull up machine (yes, such a thing) and ask someone to show you how it works. This will "spot" you and ease you into eventually doing pull ups on your own.

Any other easy ways to squeeze in push ups or pull ups? Now drop and give me 20!

Why Am I So Sore? And "Down There" Winner!

Between my Wednesday morning track workout and my Saturday morning Cross Fit class, I'm perpetually a little (good) sore underneath the surface. But because I didn't make it to Cross Fit on Saturday, I'm trying to put my finger on that "ooph" I feel in my butt and legs whenever I sit down or climb the stairs. And then it hit me: I've been squatting at every opportunity since last week's post; making squats a normal part of daily activity. I hadn't considered squatting to get something out of a low cupboard or while making a sandcastle at the beach a "workout," but according to my glutes and hamstrings it is, and the mystery soreness is solved! That, right there, is the key to finding fitness in the chaos of motherhood: multitask at every turn!

Which brings me to the winner of Katy Bowman's Aligned and Well DVD, "Down There" for Women. The scientific process for selecting the winner went as follows: Each of my daughters selected a number, which corresponded to a comment left on Monday's post. Here's who they picked.

Then I put those numbers into a pot and let The Boy pick one out. Here's your winner!

Amber please email me your mailing address to kara@karathom.com and I will send it

your way!

Another important tip for finding fitness in the chaos of motherhood: Go to that fitness class, even if you show up late. Dirty looks be damned. Now, I gotta go--I'm late to yoga!

Pelvic Floor Encore

Well, well, well.

By the look of my stat counter it appears I've struck a hot topic with Monday's post: Pelvic Floor Party: Kegels are NOT invited. The comments have been flying and Katy Bowman has been along with us to answer questions. Katy even posted on the topic on her own blog, Katy Says (and the post has cool graphics, so you must check it out). As the conversation ensued in the comment section I had one more question for her--one I thought deserved its own post. Here--thanks to your standing ovation--is an encore question and answer.

And here's another question for Katy on the Kegels. I don't think you're saying we write Kegels completely out of the books, are you? Would Kegels be useful, say during pregnancy and, especially immediately after childbirth when the PF has been directly traumatized? But the difference is we should not go overboard and we still have to build up the other muscles surrounding the PF. Post birth we can go from the Kegel being something we do as an exercise (a few times throughout the day versus 200 times like people have been saying) to something we do in "real time" situations (to hold back urine when we sneeze/laugh/cough/etc.)

Katy, what say you?

I can’t believe how popular this blog has become. Do you know I have friends from elementary school emailing me saying they read this posted on Facebook by people I don’t even know? And I think it is striking such a cord because 80 percent of women are facing this problem, many times silently, and are now really confused. That isn’t what we want either, is it Kara?!

So now you may be wondering “who to trust.” Why would you listen to me? Why am I saying something soooo different than other “experts”? These are all good questions, and questions you should be asking. First off, let me fill you in on the Kegel exercise. Dr. Kegel, an OBGYN, had a device that he invented that he thought would help many of his (caucasian) patients recover from the birthing process.

Before I go any further: It is well documented that Western, modern-living women have much more difficult births than their less-modernized counterparts. During these times (mid 1800’s to the 1930’s) pelvic floor damage and baby-head smashing was a problem for “civilized women,” but not the “Tinkers” (Irish gypsies) or tribal-living women. The only differences in these groups turned out to be the size of their birthing space. The size of the birthing space (the obstetrical conjugate) is created by the bony surfaces of the pelvis. The sacrum (the base of the tailbone) makes up the back side of this birthing space. The cool thing is, the sacrum is not attached to the pelvis, but floating against it. Less-civilized women (like their male counterparts) have squatted to “bathroom” their entire lives. This squatting increased their birthing space by activating the glutes (pulling the sacrum back to open the birthing space). This extra space meant less pressure on their PFs during birth (less tearing of the muscles and tendons) and required less damage to the ligaments in between the bones.

Another way to say this is the life-long habit of squatting is what prevented the PF from being damaged in the first place. The balance between the perfect amount of glute contraction and the perfect amount of PF tone give you what you want. Good pelvic (and abdominal) organ support. [Kara's Note: read Katy's post about the Hunter Gathering Mama for more about squatting for birth preparation.]

Back to Dr. Kegel. Now he had all these women who were noticing weakness and invented the Kegelizer, or something like that. It was equivalent to the Kegel-exercisers you see now. Just insert and squeeze. The squeeze improved the lost mental connection between a damaged PF and one that was firing correctly. Firing correctly meant that when the PF was done contracting, the muscles could restore to their optimal length. This part of Dr. Kegel’s research protocol has been left out and the only part that has been passed on is the contracting part.

Science Note: The muscle tissue in your PF is the same as the muscle tissue in your biceps. When you’re done realllly working your biceps, you’d like your arm to go back to its original length, right? What if, when you were done doing your curls, your elbows stayed as bent as they were when your muscles were the TIGHTEST? If you equate strong with tight, then you’d have “strong,” contracted arms with bent elbows all the time. Tight muscles. Unusable arms.

That’s not what TONE is. Tone is having the MOST strength and the MOST length.

Doing Kegels all the time will get you a TIGHT, unusable pelvic floor. This is why people’s ORGANS ARE FALLING OUT OF THEIR BODY.

Probably the worst time to be doing Kegels in the way we think “Kegels” is during pregnancy. If you looked at the research for birthing mechanics it is clear that women (especially Western women) are allowing their pelvic girdle to collapse based on our lack of glute (and calf and hamstring tension). The research shows that PFD isn’t a problem in other parts of the world.

So, all you Hot Mamas-To-Be out there HAVE TO SQUAT THREE TIMES A DAY until these joint motions come naturally. That’s how you tend to your PF before delivery. To all of you Hot Mamas out there with your birthing days behind you: Don’t let your PF gripping become stronger than your glutes.

I came up with the perfect solution, Kara. Gently tense and fully release (shy of urinating) your PF 10 times while you are in a squatting position. That way you know you are keeping all the pelvic muscles balanced.

Thank you Katy, again, for such eye-opening and SENSIBLE information. Now, let's take a vote. The exercise Katy describes as a replacement for traditional Kegels, I'm going to hereby refer to as the Bowman Squat. Everyone raise your hand if you agree.

An hour after originally posting I'm back because I've had an hour to process this and have a few thoughts. What I'm hearing is (this sounds like I'm in a counseling session, which I almost feel like I need after such apocalyptic information) that Kegels aren't inherently bad, that Dr. Kegel meant well but our puritanic based society just got a little too anal (literally) about them. I mean, I know I for one think that if 10 push ups are good, then 20 are better. If I can do a sprint triathlon, then heck let's go for the Ironman! So it's easy to see how we heard Dr. Kegel (which became every OB on the planet) telling us to squeeze, but we ignored that bit about releasing. And now I'm going deep, folks... but who among us has an easy time "letting go." That, right there, is what childbirth is all about: letting our body open up and let go. But the majority of women can't do it without numbing drugs and interventions. Open up and let go? Huh, what? No, letting go just doesn't come natural to us in our society. We can clench and squeeze and get nice and tightly wound, but ask us to let go? I think what Katy is saying is that our pelvic floor needs balance, we can't overlook the benefits of lengthening and stretching while we're busy strengthening. The exercise of letting go is always a good one to practice in any aspect of life. And I'm telling you, to relax your pelvic floor just shy of urinating--holy cow!--it's super relaxing; like sinking into a tub of warm water... wait, that was water, right?

Pelvic Floor Party: Kegels are NOT invited.

You now have permission to pee in the shower.

Recently I met a woman who told me she used to be a runner. Naturally, I asked: Why don't you still run? The answer: "Because 60 hours of labor with my first child and a forceps delivery ruined my desire to run anymore."

To sum up for those who still may not infer the problem: She pees her pants when she picks up the pace.

My friends and I joke about sneeze pee, jumping jack pee, trampoline pee, and other bladder challenges. But full blown incontinence is no laughing matter. I'm a firm believer that a strong pelvic floor is the answer to incontinence (although pharmaceutical companies and surgeons often try to persuade people with other remedies). A strong pelvic floor, I've learned, not only makes the difference between wet and dry running shorts, but also keeps me running pain-free: I no longer suffer from the back and hip problems that used to plague me.

So today I bring you an interview with Katy Bowman. I have had the opportunity to interview Katy for magazine articles. Since becoming a freelance writer 13 years ago I have interviewed scores of sources. Very few I remember. Katy made an impression. She is a biomechanical scientist who applies her knowledge on the human body. Among other things, she has her own DVD program, "Aligned and Well," and is the director of the Restorative Exercise Institute. Her blog, Katy Says, is amazing (and she's as funny as she is smart). I like that combination so I asked her to chime in about the pelvic floor. I had no idea she would rock my pelvic floor world. Even if you've never peed in your running shorts even a little bit, you should still read what she has to say about pelvic floor strength.

Mama Sweat: First, a lot of women just assume it's childbirth that causes incontinence, but I've read that pregnancy itself puts a strain on the bladder (so a c-section won't necessarily save you) and that most women, as they get older--whether they've had children or not--will likely experience problems with incontinence. And even men aren't immune. All this suggests that a weak pelvic floor doesn't discriminate.

Katy Bowman: Nulliparous women (that's women who've never had a baby) and men are equally affected with PFD (pelvic floor disorder) so while child birth may accelerate PF weakening, it is not a primary cause of PFD. PFD is first caused by slack in the pelvic floor due to the fact that the sacrum is moving anterior, into the bowl of the pelvis. Because the PF muscles attach from the coccyx to the pubic bone, the closer these bony attachments get, the more slack in the PF (the PF becomes a hammock).

MS: So rather than a hammock, you'd rather your PF be more like a stretcher--more firm and able to hold up weight without buckling?

KB: I like to think of the PF like a trampoline--the material is supple, but taut...the perfect muscle length.

MS: And kegels. Everyone on my blog has heard me preach about kegels. I want to make sure all my readers are doing them right. Suggestions?

KB: A kegel attempts to strengthen the PF, but it really only continues to pull the sacrum inward promoting even more weakness, and more PF gripping. The muscles that balance out the anterior pull on the sacrum are the glutes. A lack of glutes (having no butt) is what makes this group so much more susceptible to PFD. Zero lumbar curvature (missing the little curve at the small of the back) is the most telling sign that the PF is beginning to weaken. Deep, regular squats (pictured in hunter-gathering mama) create the posterior pull on the sacrum. Peeing like this in the shower is a great daily practice, as is relaxing the PF muscles to make sure that you're not squeezing the bathroom muscle closers too tight. Just close them enough...An easier way to say this is: Weak glutes + too many Kegels = PFD.

MS: OK, I had to step away from my computer a moment to fully process this. First of all, you just said it's OK to pee in the shower, but what really has my head spinning--did I catch this right?--you said: Too many Kegels can cause PFD? Did everyone hear that loud screeching noise? You realize this goes against everything I've ever heard or read; that kegels are the be all end all for pelvic floor strength.

KB: I know, I feel like I'm running around saying The Sky is Falling, The Sky is Falling. The misunderstanding of pelvic floor issues is so widely spread, I'm a Team of One right now. But, I've got all of the science backing it up and it makes sense, the kegel is just such a huge part of our inherited culture information, no one bothered to fully examine it. Anyhow, your PF is underneath the weight of your organs, and the strength your PF needs is equal to this weight (you don't need SUPER STRONG PF muscles, just enough to keep everything closed). When you run, the extra G forces (2-3) actually increase the "weight" while running, but the PF should be adapting, just like all your muscles. One of the biggest misnomers is that tight muscles are "strong" and loose muscles are "weak." In actuality, the strongest muscle is one that is the perfect length - you need Pelvic Floor Goldilocks - it's juuuuuust right. The Kegel keeps making the PF tighter and tighter (and weaker and weaker). The short term benefits are masking the long term detriments. Ditch the kegels and add two to three squat sessions throughout the day (anywhere). The glutes strengthen and as a result, they pull the sacrum back, stretching the PF from a hammock to a trampoline. Viola! You can still practice opening and closing your PF in real-time situations, but you don't have to approach it like a weight-lifting session or anything. It doesn't need to be on the To Do list :)

MS: I am ALL for scratching items off my to-do list! Before we get too carried away with our newfound freedom from Kegels, I want to get back to the role of our glutes. What you’re saying--and I love this--is that there’s a much better reason, besides aesthetics, to avoid the flat butt syndrome found in most older women (further exacerbated in "mom jeans"). Having a booty--as in strong glutes--will not only do wonders for your view from the backside but prevent you from peeing just a little (or a lot) when you sneeze. This is revolutionary. I love what I'm hearing.

KB: Ok, I'm yelling this: YOU REQUIRE YOUR BUTT MUSCLES! There aren't any extraneous parts on the body! Every muscle is really a pulley that is holding your skeleton just so. When you let your glutes go, you allow the bones of the pelvis to collpase into themselves. The squat is the most effective and natural glute strengthener--using the full range of motion and your body weight. It is entirely more effective than any gym machine or contrived exercise. The hunter-gathering folks squat multiple times a day (or at least once in the morning), so they had a nice routine down over a lifetime. Doing this four to five times a day, every day of your pregnancy will improve the delivery as well!

MS: I’ve also read that squatting during pregnancy helps prevent the posterior position during delivery (when babies emerge face up, rather than face down), which causes excruciating back labor and with it more interventions, more cesarean deliveries. In America, where we tend to sit back and put our feet up rather than squat and sit forward, the posterior position is more common than in countries where squat sitting is the norm. I was a squatter during my pregnancies, but now I will continue: when I’m playing with The Boy, picking weeds in the yard, pulling laundry out of the dryer or getting a pot from the cupboard. Lots of opportunities to squat!

I know you've brought up posture as a culprit too. How does posture play a roll and how do we keep good pelvic posture?

KB: You can only have optimal PF function when the pelvis is in a particular position. The two bony points on the front of the pelvis (where you put your hands on your hips) should be vertically stacked over your pubic bone. Most women have become "tuckers" based on their mom or gram telling them to not stick their butt out. Athletes tend to be super-tight through the quads and psoas, which also keeps the pelvis tucked under. Wearing high heels requires women to reposition their joints to deal with the torque at the ankle, and many women will post-tilt the pelvis there as well. For optimal pelvic health, one needs to make sure the posterior muscles (glutes, hams, and calves) aren't pulling the pelvis under and keep the psoas and groin loose as well.

MS: So, this requires that we stretch out the muscles in front and strengthen the muscles in back?

KB: The muscles are weak because they are tight. More "strength" or tension-increasing exercises are going to make it worse. Instead, muscle lengthening exercises--especially stretching the calves, hamstrings, groin (adductors)--are the best prescription. Also, you need to learn how to hold your pelvis correctly to optimize strength!

MS: Which brings me to your DVD with the awesome title: "Down There."

KB: The DVD is designed to get the pelvis in the correct position so the PF can work optimally. Typical PF treatment is trying to strengthen the PF muscles with the pelvis itself is in the wrong position, which means the treatments don't work very well. That's why once you have surgery, the statistics say you will have to have a 2nd, 3rd, and even a 4th in your lifetime! It is not a permanent fix, so it's better to not even go down that road. The DVD will teach you to stretch and relax the muscles that are pulling the pelvis out of alignment--and let the correct muscle tone of the PF re-establish itself.

MS: Should we watch it in the bedroom with the shades drawn or is this something we can do with the kiddies around?

KB: Yes! You can keep the lights on and even the front door open. The exercises are mostly inner thigh and back-of-the-leg stretching, so if you don't tell anyone what it's for then they'd never know. And it's also a great program for kids to follow--especially if they are having problems wetting the bed--the muscle tension pattern is the same in the kids as they are in incontinent moms.

MS: OMG! If you were sitting here in front of me I'd kiss you right now! I am forever washing bedsheets. I can't wait to try it out.

Let's get back to peeing in the shower. Now that you've legitimized it for us (I don't advise this practice at the gym, however), let me ask this: Why do I feel the urge to pee a little (or, OK, I'll say it, sometimes a lot) when I hit a warm shower? Wasn't this covered in a Seinfeld episode? Seriously, what is it about the warm water that makes me want to let go?

KB: When the PF is weak, women start to use the glutes and adductors to keep the bladder closed (instead of the sphincter muscle of the bladder itself). When you hit the shower, those external muscles relax and HELLO! you realize that you don't have actual control of the deeper, internal muscles of the PF.

MS: OK. I thought my PF was strong, but I see I have more work to do. I suppose it’s like any muscle, strengthening must be an on-going practice. But for someone who is suffering from incontinence, or this friend of mine who is afraid to run, how soon should they expect to notice a difference once they start a "training program"? And at what point should a woman consider pharmaceutical or surgical options? Ever?

KB: I don't think a surgical option is ever a good idea, as the problem isn't coming from one time damage, but the accumulation of 1) bearing down a lot and 2) from squeezing the PF all the time. Working on relaxing the PF and keeping it closed "just enough," stretching the backs of the legs to free up the pelvis, doing regular, daily squats to strengthen the glutes, and ditching the heels (except in special occasions) are things you can do all the time for all-the-time improvement. Also, doing tons of crunches where you are bearing down on the PF will only make PF health worse. It's better to do transverse abdominal stabilizing exercises - like the plank - that will decrease any bearing down that sprains pelvic organ ligaments. Once you get yourself out of the weak and overcompensating PF tension cycle, you should feel like you have better bladder control within a few weeks. If you are already experiencing organ prolapse (it is way more common that people realize) you need to skip the run and switch to long, endurance walks (minimize G forces), and do your pelvic-aligning exercises every day--maybe even twice.

MS: Wow. This is revolutionary. And it makes sense. I can hardly believe I'm just. now. learning. this. I can't be the only one who's feeling a little cheated. Women (and men) need to know all this. Thank you, Katy, for answering my questions and sharing your knowledge. I know this information will change a lot of lives. And if I can stop buying nighttime pull-ups for my girls, the benefits are more far reaching than I thought!

Do you want your own copy of the "Down There" DVD? I have one to give away! Katy was kind enough to send one to me. I just got a look-see and what I love most is that it's short and sweet, my kids were able to follow along too, and most were multitasking exercises I could do while waiting for the school bus or in line at the grocery store. Efficient!

Leave me a comment--if nothing else admit that you, too, sometimes pee in the shower. Next week I'll draw a name and announce the winner!

****Due to the popularity of this post (where are all you people coming from?!) I did a follow up interview with Katy Bowman. This is especially important if you're a Kegel fan--we haven't written them off entirely. Check out Pelvic Floor Encore.

****On May 24 I picked a winner for the "Down There" video and posted about my sore butt from all the squatting.

Blog Birthday Video Exclusive

This is Kara getting crazy with her Flip. Enjoy my movie, which comprises two short videos. I made two because being in front of the camera was a little intoxicating and then there was the matter of my bra. I seriously would like some input on the matter.

And for those of you who want to reminisce, here's my first Mama Sweat post ever: Finding Fitness in the Chaos of Motherhood, Indeed! This was back when I was able to write short posts. Oddly enough today was much like that day two years ago: cold and rainy. I was smart to ride on my trainer this morning.

Motherhood Lessons from the Third World

I just saw the new documentary, Babies, a film that follows four babies from different parts of the world from their birth up to about a year, although by the end they all seemed about the same age as The Boy is now (how did my newborn get to be 15 months already?)

I've posted the trailer for your enjoyment:

Aside from being ridiculously cute, and leaving me with that warm fuzzy feeling that any human with a soul gets from being around a baby, the film sparked a few observations for me.

First observation: I did not ever think, "Awwww, I want another one!" Blessedly, my maternal urges have topped out at four.

Second observation: After watching the babies from Africa and Mongolia, parenting in the U.S. (and Japan for that matter, where the fourth baby is from) felt a little contrived. For the African and Mongolian baby, nature, animals, other children were the main focus of their play. In Japan and the U.S. most of the babies' sensory needs were satisfied with store-bought toys and "baby classes." Is there a lesson here for our culture that is battling a childhood obesity epidemic?

Third observation: With a baby, there's a fine line between safety and freedom. There were so many instances in the scenes from Mongolia and Africa where I audibly muttered: Oh my God... because if had I been standing right there I would have rushed in and swooped up the babe from whatever danger I perceived. But their mamas didn't and oh, you could see the joy in those babies faces from whatever newness they experienced or the satisfaction in their accomplishment. It's the kind of confidence all parents want for their children, but I saw how clearly I can't "give" that to my children. They absolutely must experience it through their own freedom.

In the end, regardless of how different these four babies' lives were in that first year, they all seem so happy, so loved. And so, ultimately I am left with this, my fourth observation: whatever we do as mothers is enough. We all do what we know, what we instinctively believe to be right, and that is our best, and that is enough.

Still, extra kudos to that mom in Africa who wipes her baby's poopy bottom with her knee and then scrubs her knee clean with a corn cob. I am nothing but humbled.

Shoe Snafu

How is it I can get four kids ready to go to the gym, but continually forget to get there prepared myself? I was hell bent on working out this morning--to stop the stress that was oozing from my pores--only to pull into the gym parking lot and realize I was wearing my slip on sneakers (no heel, no ties, not appropriate footwear for the "Functional Integrated Training" class I wanted to try). So we went home. I put on my shoes (and took out the trash since I had forgotten to do it earlier). I tossed peanut butter cups to the children still buckled in their seats. We returned to the gym and I was determined to walk in late anyway. I did, but to the wrong class. Realizing my error within the first 60 seconds, I slipped out (forgetting my water bottle) and found the right class. Maybe it's just me, but I think I put a little more oomph in my workouts when I'm pissed off. In the end, I'm glad I made the return trip to the gym. This was definitely a case of "better late than never." That stocked gym bag I blogged about a few months ago? It is now going to be the home of an extra pair of Mizunos. This summer when I accidently wear my flip flops to the gym (and, yes, I've done that, and no doubt will do it again) I'll have a back up pair.

Oh! And Happy Mother's Day! Hope you get a little Mama Sweat!

Push Up Trouble

Pushup Trouble is not having a problem lifting your body weight off the floor with your arm strength, although it can be. For purposes of this post, Push Up Trouble is the way my girls play the game called Trouble.

If it's been a while since you played, let me refresh your memory. First, before you start to move your pieces around the board you have to roll a six of the die. This typically exceeds the patience boundaries of most small children (and their parents). And because the die is under a dome you can't cheat (or move the game forward, as I prefer to say).

While we were spending a weekend at my brother and sister-in-law's cabin a while back, Mc (wearing the headband in the middle) propped her feet up in plank and took her turn. She rolled a six for the first time in the game. At the time, the rest of us were half way around the board and she had yet to roll a six so none of her pieces were in play. Did I mention she does not like losing? The crazy thing is she rolled about three sixes in a row. So the other girls wanted in on that luck and took to plank too. The sixes started showing up more. I was in a six draught myself, so I propped myself in plank, and--voila!--I rolled a six!

I might mention here, that to pop the dome to roll the die requires lifting one hand up so that you hold plank with the remaining arm. Hello core!

The real victory is that we have made a sedentary game active (my children take the credit, which is an even bigger victory). Is there a way your family has made a "sitting game" more active or, for the parents, more tolerable? Do share!