Sometimes Kids "Help" Us Succeed in Working Out

What do you get when your 16-month-old son digs through the recycle bin and finds a Fage Greek yogurt container with just enough honey in it to coat his legs along with patches of the kitchen floor, then sets his sights on a bag of quinoa, which he holds upside down to watch the tiny kernels rain down around him?

A homemade human bird feeder.

It was a spectacular mess.

True, the mess would not have happened if I had been watching him. But I was just trying to get one more thing done to finish the book (as you read this "Hot (Sweaty) Mamas: Five Secrets to Life as a Fit Mom" is in the hands of our editor!). Because I was so entrenched in writing and editing I had surrendered my workout for the day.

Mostly my blog focuses on how our sweet little children can make workouts more difficult; sometimes they even prevent us from sweating altogether. But not today's post. When I walked in on The Boy smearing his honey-quinoa paste on the floor I took to the task of cleaning up and came to my senses about being productive. I was also, as you might expect, a little bit annoyed. The Boy's efforts seemed a round-about effort to get me to the gym to use my time more wisely. He knew what mommy needed: Cardio Kick Boxing and free childcare.

Finding Fitness but Losing My Mind

Last night I was in bed for 9 hours. Every mother knows I didn't sleep nine hours. Two separate children with night calls segmented my sleep, but that was still more rest than I've had in the last few weeks. I've been feeling it too, and so have my children due to a forgotten playdate one day and hauling them to a day camp a week early on another. (All mommies are like this, I tell them. Don't roll your eyes at me!) Then there was the well-visit I scheduled for my son, thinking I was a month late. When the nurse walked in she looked at me funny. "It says here you were in 2 weeks ago for his 15-month check up." The room filled with silence. Crickets chirped as I struggled to recall that appointment. And then I struggled to come up with a reason why I scheduled it twice, even though I still couldn't remember being there in the first place. The crickets kept chirping. Nervous laughter. I'm losing my mind, and it's no longer a secret!

Simply put, I have been too busy (as if this doesn't happen to people all the time). But I knew I was reaching the outer limits of my ability to cope. I was already giving up sleep. I was maxing out babysitting time. Last week I managed to keep up with my regular workout schedule, but this week something else had to give. So for the last few days I was not able to find fitness in the chaos of motherhood; not something I like to admit, seeing as I write a blog about finding fitness in the chaos of motherhood.

I entertained a little negative internal dialogue with each passing day, but I tuned it out. I just had too much going on to fight with myself and I knew if I could press on with the work before me I would get to that workout sooner rather than later. Finally, this morning, I managed to get in a challenging masters swim class, proving to that negative little voice she needs to be more kind and patient.

I think a lot of women, once they get on a roll with exercise, ultimately get faced with these "blips" to their workout routine. All too often a series of missed days slides down that slippery slope into months or years without fitness. This doesn't have to be. A lifetime committed to fitness has plenty of room for a few days off--even a week or two, if you must--here and there.

If you hear a negative voice berate you for missing a workout that you know will cause stress instead of reduce it, remind her this choice is temporary and you'll find a way to sweat soon, even sooner if she stays off your back!

What about you? Can you interrupt your fitness routine and get right back on the horse, or does a few days off push you into a sedentary black hole?

[Now is a good time to mention that if you don't see any new Mama Sweat posts next week it is because I am hard at work finishing the manuscript for "Hot (Sweaty) Mamas: Five Secrets to Life as a Fit Mom," which is due July 1. My absence means I've chosen to work out instead of blog!]

Video Post: Why I Like Bike Trainers

I'm still at the bottom of the learning curve on video posts, but I get points for not being afraid to look stupid. If you have low tolerance for amateur video, you might prefer to read the "Multitasking Mama" post that also explains how a fit mama can make good use of a bike trainer (and see what a toddler looks like when she's fallen head first over her handlebars). Meanwhile, I promise to learn how to edit video before I vlog again.

Pelvic Floor Party Trick

Many of you have read the recent and popular posts, Pelvic Floor Party and Pelvic Floor Encore, but you may no longer be following along in the comments where the discussion lives (rages?) on. I'm thrilled Mama Sweat is the forum for such an important discussion, but mostly all I can do is nod and smile.

This week, we got a comment that made me laugh out loud and I knew that there was no way I could leave it buried and unnoticed. From Matthew J Taylor, PT, PhD (trust him, he's a doctor) we get:

Not to confuse the issue, but to introduce some fun, I presume everyone is familiar with the concept of the connection between the pelvic floor and your tongue (careful, it's a family site)?

Seriously...sit feet flat on the floor, pelvis square on a chair, spine softly erect. Now, sensing the space between your sitting bones (ischial tuberosities), gently begin to press your tongue against the back of your teeth and watch what happens to your PF as you increase the pressure, and then watch as you slowly release (old Feldenkrais lesson).

Not only that, but what you are thinking and what you believe in the moment directly impacts your breathing pattern, which also sets tone in the PF (for the evidence crowds see O'Sullivan PB, Beales DJ. Man Ther. 2007.Aug;12 (3):209-18. Epub 2006 Aug 17.)

So feet on the floor, soften the tongue and exhale...happy PF's everyone!

Isn't that great? Although I don't know who old Feldenkrais is, I appreciate the new party trick because I can't touch my nose with my tongue.

On a more serious note, another comment came in regarding the important but forgotten step of relaxing the pelvic floor. Leah F. gives us another good reason to put it into practice and stop being so "assed up" all the time:

As a counseling student, I've become aware of valuable information about pelvic floor relaxation in trauma work and in bodily health (the idea being that if we live in a constantly stressed state, in the "fight or flight" sympathetic nervous system, our bodies will burn out, hence the need for an effective way to relax). The pelvic floor is the only part of the body completely surrounded by muscle, so by relaxing the PF for 20-30 seconds, the rest of the body is triggered to relax and switch into the parasympathetic nervous system. "Being able to live in a state of 'non anxious presence' (NAP) is key to managing future potential crises and traumas. NAP is not something that can be mastered in one session, but is something that needs to be practiced and used when life is not traumatic. It is a technique used to facilitate the PNS, so that we may stay relaxed and calm. Good gauge of a NAP is a relaxed pelvic floor. Being in this state allows one to be empathetic, compassionate and bear witness as a spectator. It is about relaxed mindfulness and comfort in ones own body." (Noel Holdsworth DNH, APRN-BC, CTS www.ejhealers.com)

And included in all this pelvic floor discussion we have had a few comments calling for the need for "scientific proof."

It's there, says Christine Kent from Whole Woman, Inc. who urges us to check out the paper, "Genital prolapse: a legacy of the West?" in the Australian and New Zealand Journal of Obstetrics and Gynaecology. But as she puts it: "The people who fund large studies generally do not want to know what reverses the very disorder that is the bread and butter of gynecology." She goes on to say:

More importantly are natural and real-time testimonials of women themselves, which were never possible before the great democratizing power of the internet. Maintaining the natural shape of the spine is the only way the pelvic organ support system properly functions.

And I liked what Michael Curran had to say in response to an "anonymous scientist":

As a health practitioner, I have followed this blog with some interest. In an intelligent discussion, Anonymous provides an odd voice, without the self-respect to identify the source of strange and illogical arguments backed only by having identified one’s self as “a scientist.” Where Bowman has presented a logical, coherent and viable solution for a pervasive health problem, your contribution has been to question the scientific validity of the approach by comparing PFD with stretch marks (ladies) and "inherited bad teeth."

It’s a sad state of affairs when a “scientist” - real or self-perceived - is so quick to dismiss an unfamiliar therapy when the “correlation” evidence is compelling, the contrary evidence is non-existent, and the cost of implementation is zero.

And that's the bottom line here. In my mind it doesn't matter whether there are studies to back this up or not. If you start squatting more (and squatting more will neither hurt you or cost you anything) and this helps you, then your study of one is successful.

Heck, with all the responses to these posts and so many woman ready to drop Kegels from their life (it's like a bra-burning rally at Mama Sweat) we've got plenty of willing study participants, don't you think?

On Book Deadline, Need Fit Mom Input!

I keep dropping subtle hints about the upcoming book I've co-written, "Hot (Sweaty) Mamas: Five Secrets to Life as a Fit Mom." Now that readership here at Mama Sweat has exploded it might behoove me to make the announcement official, and warn you of upcoming bouts of shameless self-promotion.

Hot (Sweaty) Mamas will be published by Andrews McMeel in spring 2011. If you're wondering, Where have I heard of Andrews McMeel before?--Yes!--it's the same publisher that brought us Run Like a Mother.

My co-author, Laurie Kocanda, and I are hammering out the final details to the manuscript, which is due July 1. Part of the "icing on the cake" are the quotes we'll include throughout the book from other fit mamas. You want to be in the book, right? So answer our quick and easy 10-question survey:

Click here to take the Hot (Sweaty) Mamas survey

Now do it quick--we need your input by June 20. And pass it along to your fit mama friends too!

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

I'm off to the track this morning (with all four kids and the Wonder Teen). How will you get your Mama Sweat?

Second Pelvic Floor Encore

For those of you arriving for pelvic floor enlightenment (or wish to further your enlightenment), Katy Bowman just posted a fantastic video tutorial on her blog (with a skeletal pelvic prop!) as a follow up to the frenzy we've been experiencing, and as Katy say:

"If there is anything we don't need it is more Huh? when it comes to our own equipment!"

Give yourself five minutes today for her vlog, Pelvic Floor Demystified.

Does anyone else want to be Katy's best friend?

Helpful Tip for Jog Stroller Users: Hint it Requires a Pump

Since learning how to add subtitles to video, these vlogs are much more fun (because I am not spontaneously witty; as a writer I must edit my humor in, which might take several drafts).

And, if you're one of those 10,000 people who have visited my blog in the last three days (yes, mom, I said 10,000!!!) I hope you'll keep coming back!

Anyone else ever get a flat tire on their jog stroller?

"We Are More Alike Than We Are Different"

Today, I bring you Sally Sexton, 43, mother of Brynn (below) and Niall. I started out my interviews with moms of special needs kids thinking they must have a harder time juggling fitness with motherhood. Sally set me straight. Here’s Sally’s story, in her own words:

Brynn ran with me two races before she was born. The Tofte Trek trail run, through the muddy hills of the North Shore, and the Human Race in St. Paul (which did not have adequate port-a-potties along the course for the pregnant ladies, so I had to take a short jaunt from the course to Whole Foods for a potty break and free fruit and cheese samples).

I consider the first year of Brynn’s life, and my life as a mother, a marathon of sorts. At 20 weeks gestation my husband and I found out we had a baby with a complete Atrioventricular canal defect. Soon after that we learned, via amniocentesis, that we would have a baby girl and that our baby girl would have Down syndrome.

Brynn made it to 35 weeks and we had a very joyful birth experience. Unfortunately, she was quickly swept away to the NICU and lived there for the next two months. This is where we began our marathon. Brynn could not nurse because of her compromised heart, prematurity and low muscle tone. I quickly began the pattern of every four hours going through the cycle of trying to nurse, tube feeding and then pumping.

We finally brought Brynn home with a GT tube, but we didn’t stop our feeding cycle. My lactation nurse and Brynn’s OT explained how important it was for Brynn to practice nursing before each tube feeding. This would help her eventually learn to nurse and would really be important for her speech development, that would most likely be delayed later in life. Most importantly Brynn had to gain weight so she could have heart surgery.

Brynn had successful heart surgery at six months and within weeks she began nursing more. By nine months we were able to remove her feeding tube and she was nursing on her own, but would not take a bottle.

This is when I found out I was pregnant!

If I was going to use the marathon metaphor seriously, this would probably be mile 17. I needed to fuel up, buckle down and make it through another 9 months. I was the lactating, pregnant mom that occasionally made it out for a walk around the lake. It wasn't until after my son was born that I realized, I had to exercise again or I was going to lose my mind. Having teachers and therapists in and out of our house, and a son with what early childhood educators call a "fussy temperament" was too much for this introverted mother who likes her quiet time. So, I started running again.

Today, Brynn is 6-and-a-half and Niall is five. Fortunately, Brynn is relatively healthy and loves Kindergarten. Brynn now has her own "running shoes" and "running shorts" (a size too big and sometimes worn inside out). She emphatically announces each evening after dinner that she is "going for a run." Sometimes she gets her running get-up on, sometimes it is rain boots and wool socks. Regardless, she heads out the door and someone has to chase her half way around the block. Without much street safety sense, we stick near enough to intervene if necessary. My joy is magnified since Brynn couldn't even walk around the block until she was four years old. It was four years of weekly physical therapy sessions, lugging Brynn and her walker around, and always wondering when she would be able to walk from the house to the car by herself.

So, if I ever lack motivation to get out of bed and run or do my PT exercises, I think about Brynn and how hard she had to work during those therapy sessions every week just to get stronger and stronger, so that she could walk.

I've watched other mothers endure and push on through as their children undergo multiple surgeries, cancer treatment, and other complicated health issues. One thing I have learned is you can't easily compare experiences. I have friends with jobs that require long hours, husbands who travel, and some who are single parents. Everyone is juggling. I also have a good friend who just had her first baby. After six months of caring for her newborn (without special needs) she tells me motherhood is "the hardest thing I have ever done in my life." I believe her.

Running, training for triathlons and working out have been more than a mental break for me; it's been the best way for me to build and maintain the mental strength I need to keep going day after day.

Rarely am I challenged by the logistics of negotiating a work-out with a child with special needs. I've figured out what works and that is usually 5:30 a.m., an occasional evening when my husband is home, or an afternoon swim during the preschool hour (however, I keep my cell phone in a zip-lock on the pool deck because of frequent calls from Brynn's school) and the weekends when we trade for morning runs or a bike ride. At this age it is easier to workout alone, because I crave the solitude.

The sacrifices for staying mentally and physically fit in a family with a special needs child? My house is usually a disaster, I wear sweaty workout clothes almost everywhere (volunteering at school, getting groceries and taking kids to the doctor) and I don't get as much sleep as I would like. This is probably no different than any other hot sweaty mama! We are more alike than we are different. Which is exactly how I would want the world to view Brynn.