Sweating It Out With a Writing Exercise

Today I'm not blogging about finding fitness in the chaos of motherhood; I'm blogging about writing the chaos of motherhood for posterity. Yes, especially those moments you think you'd like to forget. Every mother has her own way of cataloguing her memories, from elaborate scrapbooks, to pulling out anecdotes--the most embarrassing ones--over large holiday gatherings. My way is through essays, writing as many words as I have pictures stored on our hard drive.

My twin girls were two and my youngest daughter had just turned one when I discovered nirvana in a class for mother writers at the Loft Literary Center in Minneapolis. I took Kate Hopper’s class for mother writers over and over again. Partly because I connected with Kate and that inaugural class of writing moms, which helped me feel more grounded after moving to Minnesota from Texas. Six years later we continue to meet monthly; we even occasionally escape for a weekend to write together. Many of these same women have also become running partners, becoming not just Sweaty Sisters, but Sweaty Writing Sisters.

But the writing--and specifically writing about motherhood, because as a freelance writer I was already writing--became essential to my survival. OK, survival sounds a little dramatic. But it is essential for me. Essential to thrive as both a mother and a person. Writing about motherhood is more than capturing the memories and the narrative of my story as a mom. It gives me proof. I can go back and laugh and realize, even when I felt I didn’t know what I was doing, when motherhood seemed so hard and I felt like screaming, “I can’t do this,” I read those essays and I know that I did do this, and did so better than I felt at the time.

I have to give credit to Kate for her gifts of drawing out the real story (it's never what you think it is), extracting peripheral memories from our sleep-deprived subconscious, and creating vivid images of our children so we truly capture their essence at that moment in time on the page.

Now Kate’s genius has been published into a book called “Use Your Words: A Writing Guide for Mothers,” (Viva Editions 2012). I’m giddy that moms everywhere can experience the coaxing, nudging, and nurturing from Kate to get their experiences down on paper. To make sense of what perplexes us as mothers; to illuminate the highs and lows; to capture in words the story behind the picture that you didn’t think to take, because, as everyone around you always says: "You have your hands full."

See for yourself. Here's an excerpt from Chapter 4: Our Children as Characters.

You want your readers to feel a connection to the characters in your writing, and in order to make that happen, you need to write them in enough detail so readers really know them. Sometimes when I mention that I’m working on character development with my students, someone will say, “I thought you were teaching nonfiction.” There is an assumption that because the people in a work of creative nonfiction really exist, there is no need to concern ourselves with character development. But nonfiction writers need to write believable and three-dimensional characters precisely because these characters are real people; writing them accurately is a way to honor them. We also need to think about character development when we are writing about ourselves. How does the reader know us? How do we reveal who we really are? 

One of the wonderful things about writing about our children is that we, as writers, get to decide how the reader first “sees” them. What do you want readers to notice first about your child? How do you get readers invested in your children as characters? Keep these questions in mind as you write about your children.

You want this book, don't you? But what you really want is a one-on-one session with Kate to help you figure out where to start or help you along with your writing. You can win both if you enter the writing contest that Kate is hosting as part of her virtual book tour. To participate you have until this Thursday, May 31 to write 600 words or less in response to the writing exercise below. Email it to me at kara@karathom.com. I get to judge round one, which I'll announce on the Hot (Sweaty) Mamas Facebook Page on Friday. The winner will receive a copy of Use Your Words and I'll forward the Mama Sweat entry to Kate for inclusion in the grand prize, which she will select from the best writing from all the participating blogs on her virtual book tour. The grand prize winner will receive an hour phone or Skype session with Kate and get their writing published on Literary Mama.

The writing exercise is: Character Sketch

Think of your child (or one of your children if you have more than one). Try to convey his personality by using dialogue, gestures, and facial features. Ground your writing in detail. It may help to think in terms of objects—what your child eats, what he likes to play with, his hobbies. What does her face look like when she is absorbed in a task? Write as if you are watching your child from the other room. What does she look like when she doesn’t realize that you’re watching? 

Writing babies can sometimes be challenging because they don’t do that much. So if you have a very small baby, you might choose to describe her while she’s sleeping, or crying, or gnawing on her hand. Or you can try this exercise with another person in your life.

Note: Some of my students who have twins have found that they cannot write about one without writing about the other. If you have multiples and feel this way, go ahead and write them together in a scene. Think in terms of differences and similarities. When are they most alike, most different?

Are you ready to write? If you have to skip a "sweaty" workout to get this writing exercise done,  you have my permission!

Can't wait to read your entries. Get busy Hot (Sweaty) Writing Mamas!

Faster 5K: Race Time (Train Like a Mother Giveaway!)

I hope this week's posts have given Ann, who hopes to run a 5K under 30 minutes--and all of you on a Mama Sweat Mission to finish a 5K or a faster 5K--some guidance. To review, my approach has been to:

1) Focus on Strength and Power

2) Improve Running Technique

3) Make Every Run Count

Of course there's loads more on the subject of training and racing, which is why I called in the experts: Dimity McDowell and Sarah Bowen Shea, the badass mother runners behind the virtual aid station: Another Mother Runner and the authors of Run Like a Mother and their newest book, Train Like a Mother. Those of you who are ready to sign up for a race or make running races part of your fitness goals, Train Like a Mother is a great resource (and these running mamas have wit to match their knowledge). If you don't already have a copy and want to win a copy... stay tuned.

The book covers 5K, 10K, Half Marathon and Marathon with a "Finish It" training plan as well as an "Own It" training plan. They also cover nutrition, injuries, and training-related questions, like this one, which is also part of my own training:

Should I race before my goal race?

Unless you're a brand-new runner, it's always a good idea to take your wheels out for a spin on a race course. Not only does a race break up training, it also lets you figure out how your training is playing out. 

I have heeded this advice and have raced four times before my "key 5K," which is on Monday. I have a pretty good idea what to expect, which helps me set a realistic goal. Speaking of goals, there is a chapter about race goals in Train Like a Mother and specifically a section about "good, better, and best goals." Must read!

I emailed Sarah and Dimity yesterday to ask them to give us their race-day tips. They chimed in with this advice to coach us to the finish:

Warm-up before the run. Anywhere from 1/2 mile to 1 mile, and throw in some strides if you're used to doing that. Yes, it feels like work to warm-up before a run, but if you want to run a fast 5K, you need to cross the starting line feeling warm and ready to go.
If you're gunning to finish in under 30 minutes, skip the water stop(s). Your body doesn't need water/fluids/gels/gus/calories for that short of a run. (If it's wicked hot, you may need a gulp or two, but that's it.)

Position yourself well at the starting line. Be a little ambitious with where you line up and don't get intimidated, if you usually do at the starting line. Definitely make sure you're ahead of the walkers, and you might want to be toward one side, so you that you don't get too blocked in if you find you want to run faster. 

Look at the course map before the race, and note where the turns are. You want to be closest to the turn to minimize the distance you go. So if there's a right hand turn around mile 1.2, be sure you're near the right hand side of the road after you see the 1 mile marker. 

Really gun it on any downhills there might be. It's free speed, so keep your stride light and quick and see how fast you can get down it. 

Push yourself and pace yourself. For the first mile, go at a pace where you can speak in short sentences. For the second, up your speed so it's more like one-word answers. For the final 1.1, you don't want to talk. You just want to see the finish line. 

Don't forget your arms, especially on uphills. Your arms set the pace for your feet, so if you find yourself losing steam, just concentrate on keeping them swinging crisply and briskly.

When you hit a tough spot in the race, just bring it back to basics: count 10 steps on your left, 10 on your right, 10 left, 10 right. When that gets boring, set small goals: keep that fast person in the pink shirt in sight; get past that stop sign; run strong until you see your family.

Great stuff! Want more from Dimity and Sarah? Then definitely check out their new book, Train Like a Mother. You can also join their network of Sweaty Sisters at www.anothermotherrunner.com. Would you like to WIN Train Like a Mother? Two Steps:

1) Head to the Hot (Sweaty) Mamas Facebook Page and the Another Mother Runner Page and "Like" them if you haven't already.

2) In the comments share your favorite "Barnacle Buster," as defined in the Another Mother Runner Dictionary: "Any thing/person/activity used to distract, deter, and detach one's children from one's legs, thus freeing a mother for a run."

I'll announce the winner next Friday, June 1! Meanwhile, have a great race!

Faster 5K Step 3: Make Every Run Count

Sure, there are some schools of thought that emphasize increasing mileage in order to run faster, but my lifestyle can’t support those school colors. This blog was created on the premiss that as a busy mom you don't have time to spare. Therefore, running a lot of miles for the sake of running miles can't be part of the equation. Whatever training I do has to fit into my reality. My reality is three runs a week. So long as I don’t go out to sniff flowers and chase butterflies this works; I'm getting faster on low mileage. My runs often look like this:

1) Interval Training: Running faster for a certain amount of time or distance within my run for a certain number of repetitions.

2) Tempo Training: Running for a chunk of time at a faster pace.

3) Endurance Training: A longish run to maintain my endurance.

One factor I consider for all of these runs is my heart rate. Last fall I did some heart rate testing at Life Time Fitness. Learning my max heart rate, and especially my VO2 max, is the data that guides my training. Usually I'm not so good with data and I've prided myself on training by feel for the last 20 years. To understand my aversion to data, let me share this from a triathlon column I wrote for xtri.com in 2001 (note reference to Palm Pilot):

When I saw a recent article in Inside Triathlon by Dave Scott, it gave me hope. I like Dave Scott - who doesn't - and it was about a pertinent subject, increasing lactic acid threshold. I was engaged until I realized I needed a working heart-rate monitor and then I lost track of what to do with the MHR, VO2, LTHR, PE. All of it made me want to have a BM.

It's not Dave, it's me. I am bad at comprehending math and following acronyms. Plus, any kind of how-to reading makes me quiver. Both my car and my Palm Pilot would be so much more effective if I actually read the users manuals. I know that if I really followed the gobs of training advice out there (and bestowed upon me in my own home) I would be a better athlete...

So here I am, 11 years later, with a Garmin Forerunner 310 strapped to my wrist. Remembering to charge it can still be problematic, but the downloading of the data happens automatically with a USB drive. Andrew, the trainer who tested me, worked real hard to dumb things down into Kindergarten level analogies so I could understand what the numbers mean and why they're important. I'm not even going to entertain the idea of explaining what he said, I will screw that up, for sure.

However, what I know is that I am working to raise my anaerobic threshold so I can go faster longer (as it is, if 5Ks were two miles instead of 3.1 miles I would run the race of my life and have already accomplished my goal). During those training runs it's important for me to not only run at a certain pace, but also run that pace within a certain heart rate. If you don't have a heart rate monitor then use the "talk test." On your harder intervals you'll want to be breathing heavily, but allow yourself to recover in between. Tempo runs won't get you quite as breathless because you'll want to last longer. And for those longer runs, you want to be able to talk the whole time (so bring a friend along!)

My Garmin has become a great training partner. For once, I'm embracing technology! It's entertaining during the run (What's my pace? How far have I gone?) and definitely pushes me to stay focused on my goal for that particular run. However, beware the time suck of analyzing the data after a run or race. Highly entertaining.

When my 5K goal is accomplished, I'm sure I'll take off my Garmin every now and then. I'm still a big proponent of sniffing flowers and chasing butterflies.

Faster 5K Step 2: Stride Right

I have been running for 20 years and it wasn't until the last year or two that I've been aware of the emphasis on good running form. While I don't think I'll ever run barefoot, I do thank the barefoot movement (Born to Run is a must read) for making our running form as important as the miles we log. Perhaps more important than the miles we log. Poor stride will sideline you with injuries and keep you from running at all.

I took a running stride clinic last year and highly recommend it for all runners. Often local running stores will host these for free or for a low cost (ideally you want video analysis of your stride). Other options are to check out videos online. Even after that clinic I still check out videos for refreshers: just search "running technique" in You Tube and you could watch for days. I don't run in Newtons but I sure like their video about running technique. Also, The Gait Guys are a good resources and so is Crossfit Endurance for running drills. 

Essentially what you are learning or relearning is how to run the way your body is designed to run, which is crucial to prevent injury and become more efficient (efficient again, yes, there is a theme!). 

In a nutshell here are the main considerations when you run.

• Land on your midfoot, not your heels or your toes (running on toes causes shinsplints). 
• Don’t leave your foot on the ground for long. Try to pick it up as soon as it lands. 
• Lean into the forward motion; use momentum to carry you forward
• Keep your arms parallel to your body, don’t let them swing across.

If you try to think about ALL of this while you run it might completely ruin your experience. So pick one thing to focus on the next time you run. And, if you're running with a stroller, watch this video to help you stay true to good form while pushing the pram. 

Make small improvements and adjustments over time and your form will become giselle-like and your finish times faster.

Tomorrow for Step 3 we'll talk about actual run training!

Faster 5K Step 1: Focus on Strength and Power

Step one to finishing a 5K or a faster 5K has nothing to do with running.

I firmly believe that before you ask your body to do anything--whether it's lugging around a carseat carrier with a 10-pound bundle of joy or running a 5K--your body has to be strong enough for the task. 

I'd say the majority of moms aren't strong enough for the daily grind of motherhood. That's why our backs hurt, our knees give out, or other strains and pains come out of nowhere. What's more, to stay ahead of the curve, we have to be able to lift, squat, carry, or otherwise move around the weight of our heaviest child. As a mom, you HAVE to get stronger as your kids get older. But, what typically happens is as the kids grow up and get busier, mom does less and less for her strength and health.

Then she decides she's going to get fit again and out the door she goes for a run. Disaster waits.

It wasn't until I faithfully added strength training to my regular routine that I stopped throwing my back out when I put my sleeping baby in his crib or could run without my hip radiating pain down my leg. Now, if workouts become scarce, I prioritize toward strength training. Because when my strength workouts fall off the wagon, I fall apart.

Two to three times a week I work on building strength, with butt-building lifts like squats (which as we know by now does double duty strengthening the pelvic floor to prevent a leaky bladder), spine cinching lifts like deadlifts, and upper body work like push press, pull ups and push ups. Sometimes I use kettlebells, sometimes barbells, sometimes dumbbells, sometimes my own bodyweight. I make it hard for myself. And in one of those workouts I include some sort of plyometrics: box jumps, squat jumps, broad jumps, jumping lunges. When I am ultra sore, the ploymetrics are to blame, but those exercises are like the booster rockets to your training.

Stronger muscles are less likely to get injured. Stronger muscles work more efficiently. And the fringe benefit of efficiency is speed. 

If you don't know where to start, look back at my Training for Motherhood Workout Instruction Video and my Training for Motherhood With Kids Video. If you're fresh out of childbirth, start with Sahrmann exercises. Look into bootcamp at your fitness center. Go find a Cross Fit gym. Find workouts online. They are everywhere. Heck, today I did a "deck of cards" workout. Pick an exercise to represent the suit on the cards, then draw cards and do the the number of reps on the card: face cards=10 and aces=11. Make the joker something really hard. Do as many cards as you can in 10 minutes, 20 minutes, or whatever time you have. Is there an app for that? Yes, there is.

Just get stronger. It will help whether you're running toward a finish line or chasing after your children.

Mama Sweat Mission: Set a 5K Goal

Mama Sweat Reader Ann Waterman, a contributor over at the blog, Slow Mama, emailed me recently:

RE: Running a Faster 5K

Hi Kara!

As I commented on your blog a couple weeks ago, my goal before my next pregnancy is to run a 5K in under 30 minutes. I've been running regularly since I was 18 and I'm embarrassed to say that that I've never broken 30 minutes in a race (well, I did run one race in 29:20, but it was rumored that the course was short). Currently, I only have time for three runs during the week and that involves throwing my shoes on and running as soon as I leave the threshold -- no time to get to the track. I do one long slow run that's at least 45 minutes, and two shorter runs that I push a little harder on.

I've been running injury free for about 12 years. Prior to that, something was always hurting until I got fitted with orthotics. I'd like to remain injury free so am a little scared of speedwork, but feel that may be the only way to speed up.

Any tips on how to cross the finish line in a faster time? I'll be running the Woodstown, NJ Firecracker 5K on July 4th so I've got two months. If you'd like to include my progress as a feature on your blog, I'd be game -- public humiliation is a huge motivator for me.

To be perfectly clear, I have no intention of exposing Ann to public humiliation. In fact, sharing her quest, I’m certain, will rally other readers to give her the support she needs. And I need. My goal, which I might have mentioned in passing, is running a faster 5K, too. And I’d be willing to bet there are others out there who aspire to either finish their first 5K, or better their 5K time. Yup, I’m looking at YOU.

(If you're someone who doesn't know where to begin or it's been a long time, here is my "Return to Running Recipe.")

As I've mentioned here before, signing up for a race seems like the goal, but sometimes it's only the head fake to get you into a regular workout routine. It's all good. End justifies the means. Means justify the end.

For those looking at putting a summer race on the calendar, I’m going to spend each day this week (I know, rare for me to post every day!) on something you can do to meet your goal to either finish your first race or run a certain distance in a goal time.

I know Mama Sweat readers aren’t particularly chatty in the comments, but if you’re one of those looking to set a goal this summer share it with us. Tell us what it is (doesn’t have to be a running race). Sharing your goal with others will make you that more likely to work harder to achieve it. Or, as Ann calls it: Public Humiliation.

A Tribute to My Mom on Her Birthday

My mom at 16. Today she turns 66.

I spent years flipping through my parents’ old high school yearbooks. My favorite page was of Bel Air High School’s most beautiful. There was crowned my mother—a brunette Glinda the Good Witch—in the middle of her subjects, first and second runner up.
          My mother’s pink tulle dress floated off her hips like a wand of cotton candy. The fitted strapless satin bodice glittered with silver and magenta sequins. The 1961 photo is black and white, and fading under thumbprints of admiring little girls, but I knew these details because the dress hung in our hall closet. At twelve it fit like a glove, with the highest pair of my mother’s heels on. Oh, how I wished she had a crown.

          My pageant career nearly ended after a disappointing run in the Eastwood High School Most Beautiful contest in the spring of 1986. It pained me that I could not follow in my mother’s gilded footsteps.         
          At 17 that pink tulle dress no longer fit, yet still I tried to become the woman who wore it and entered a preliminary competition for the Miss El Paso contest. I qualified to enter the pageant (not exactly like qualifying for the Boston Marathon or Hawaii Ironman) and set off to be like that young woman in the yearbook photo I had spent so much time admiring.

          My parents, as I can now clearly appreciate having daughters of my own, were appalled. Especially my mother, which I couldn’t understand at the time because she was the one I was trying to emulate. But they didn’t forbid me to participate; they stood back, let me live my life. 

          What happened though, wasn’t what I expected. Probably not what they expected, either. In addition to the gowns, manicures and make up, I had a free membership to a gym and access to a personal trainer. I think I was the only contestant who took advantage of it. Three times a week Dan made me lift weights; he pushed my limits with ever increasing sets and reps and committed me to the stationary bike for an hour. Through his influence I lived the lifestyle of a woman entering a body building championship, not a beauty contest. 

          The night of the pageant, my triceps spiraled from shoulders to elbow, my quads perched on my kneecaps like loaves of bread and my calves cut into a mass of muscle above the high heels I wore. But my solid body didn't impress the judges.

          If I learned something from the experience—I won’t even try to win anyone over on the virtues of beauty pageants—it’s that it introduced me to the joy of a good sweat. I realized I loved hard workouts; not because they made my body more presentable for the swimsuit competition, but because they made me feel more alive, more in touch with my authentic self. Quite the detour to find her.

  I have since run hundreds of races including seven marathons, competed in countless triathlons and two Ironman triathlons. When I cross each finish line my smile is as big as a beauty queen.
          I know my mother is relieved I didn’t go on to chase crowns—that I cut my losses early and found meaning in education, a career, and motherhood. That, too, was her influence. She was valedictorian of her high school class. She went on to have a long teaching career, she always involved herself in meaningful work and volunteer endeavors. She raised three children, taking us skiing or to the tennis court whenever she had a chance. And she can make the best lemon merengue pie that will ever touch your lips. That photo in her yearbook was just a moment in time for her. There was never a crown to keep. 

          Finishers medals are as close to a crown as I'll come. And being an athlete allows me that sense of personal accomplishment my mom hoped for me. She has always emphasized that the only judge I need to impress, is myself. 

          I still fawn over her beauty, perhaps more so now that she is in her sixties. As a mother myself, comfortably on this side of 40, I am no longer mesmerized by that 16-year-old beauty queen. Now it is more of a fist-pumping celebration of her good looks; after all, I have her genes (or at least half her genes). But I celebrate more than her long-held beauty: I celebrate that she doesn’t take a single prescribed medication, that she can still get up on water skis, that her mind is nimble, that she still embraces adventure and change.

Happy Birthday Mom. I love you.

  I want all that. I aspire to her level of health. And one other thing: To be able to make her lemon merengue pie.

Special Thanks to Yvonne Reyes, Bel Air High School Librarian, and my father for putting those prized photographs back in my possession.

A Message From Our Sponsor

Our sponsor? That's just me. But I do have a message, before posting the post of the week. I want to give everyone a heads up that the virtual book tour for my friend Kate Hopper at Motherhood and Words has kicked off and with each stop there are opportunities to win a copy of Use Your Words: A Writing Guide for Mothers and a one-on-one session with Kate. The tour will stop here on Tuesday, May 29. A list of all her stops are here.

And tomorrow, Tuesday, May 15, I will join Kate and other guests at The Motherhood for my first ever live chat at 12 p.m. CST. We will be talking about "Writing Your Way Through Motherhood." Join me on your lunch hour?

Mama Sweat Defined

A friend, fellow runner and Mama Sweat reader (that’s you Sally) told me a long while back that “Mama Sweat,” is the term she now uses to explain the absurdities or hassles or craziness of trying to get in a workout.

I’ve been writing this blog for four years; first with three daughters under five, chronicling my last pregnancy, through his toddler years and now, even as my kids get older, I still have plenty of “Mama Sweat” to post here.

I’ve highlighted a few of my workouts as an example of Mama Sweat. Note that these workouts weren’t what I originally intended, but due to circumstances (most involving children, but sometimes I’m at fault, say when I sleep through my alarm) this is what I got instead:

Housework Fusion Workout

I really needed to vacuum the dead bugs, cob webs and other filth from the basement: a space that is host to kids who want to play and grown ups who want to sweat. I cannot express how much I did NOT want to do this and had been avoiding the job for weeks (O.K. six months). My compromise: Warm up by vacuuming 3/4 of the area, then reward with a TRX workout of 3X15 of reverse push ups, push ups with feet in stirrups, lunges with back foot in stirrup, topped off by squat jumps. Then the remaining vacuuming. All while my son played. I could not have felt more capable.

Mama Sweat in the clean basement.

Oil Change Workout

I drove to the auto shop ready to run. Packed the stroller and timed the oil change for the possibility of a nap for my cranky, newly minted 3-year-old (who will only doze off in the stroller if he’s really really pooped). So off we went, intending to run 4 miles, allowing plenty of time for the oil change. The Boy nodded off two miles in. When I returned I was told a light needed to be replaced and would take another 15 minutes. Wait? Sit inside on such a glorious day? Or, score two more miles and 20 more minutes of sleep for the cranky passenger? You know the answer!

Mama Sweat score: A sleeping
babe and an extra two miles. 

Vitamin D Workout

One morning that offered warmer-than usual weather for a Minnesota spring, my son and I went to the backyard for some fresh air. He toddled between the playset and the sandbox while I picked up dog poop. Rather than go to the gym, I decided to get my workout in right then and there. I pulled out a dumbbell from the basement and proceeded to do five rounds of 10 one-arm dumbbell snatches on each arm, 10 squats holding the dumbbell, 10 burpees and one lap down the driveway and back.

Double-take Workout

This workout is over so quickly even you’re not sure it really happened. Here’s the scene: I had one hour while my youngest daughter went to swim practice. However, I had to check in kids in the child center on the front end and return to “real clothes,” as stinkless as possible, by hour’s end. I hit the treadmill. Warm-up for 1/2 mile, then I alternated 1/2 mile fast with 1/4 mile recovery four times, followed by a 1/2 mile cool down. I arrived poolside with 5 minutes to spare and watched the end of my daughter’s practice; as far as she knew I was there the whole time. I was, wasn’t I?

Take Home Fitness Class

With sick kids home from school (including one raging case of pink eye) I couldn’t, in good conscience, bring them to the gym’s child center. This is where you hope you’ve been to that favorite fitness class enough times to replicate the moves at home. In my case I pulled out my yoga mat, laid it on the driveway, and did my best find zen.

Mama Sweat zen enough. Not pictured: two sick kids.

These are some examples of how I find fitness in the chaos of motherhood. I’d love to hear about your “Mama Sweat Workouts.”